The 23rd of this month, Sir Nottaguy-Imadad and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. In honor of that, I'm posting a few things that I have learned, some of them the hard way.
1. Love is truly not an emotion. It is a commitment to the well-being of someone else at your expense.
2. Emotions come and go.
3. Arguing can be beneficial--fighting never is.
4. It's smarter to work harder at your marriage than it is to work harder at being a good parent.
5. Take the date times when you can get them.
6. No matter how much the children protest, they really do love seeing you hug and kiss your spouse.
7. Put a lock on your bedroom door, and USE IT!
8. Pray with each other everyday, and pray for each other constantly.
9. If you find you are drifting away from each other, work hard at finding a reconnection.
10. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven, but regaining trust is hard work.
11. The word "divorce" should never be uttered unless you have gone through a full year of marriage counselling TOGETHER.
12. If someone offers to take your children for a night, take them up on it. (Return the favor at a later date.)
13. Learn to live with your spouse's idiosyncrasies, they drew you in when you met them don't let them become a wedge to separate you.
14. Once you find out what buttons make your spouse lose their cool, mark them, cover them up and never go near them again.
15. Some things are truly not worth fighting about.
16. Work at learning to love your spouse's family and getting along with them.
17. "Thank you", "Please", "I'm sorry", and "You were right" are just as important to say sincerely as "I love you."
18. If your past (or your spouse's) is going to come back to haunt you, discuss it honestly. If you are just morbidly curious, box it up and bury it.
19. Not all gifts have to cost money to be valuable.
20. If your spouse has a hobby and it is not illegal, immoral, harmful or divisive, find ways to allow them to enjoy it.
21. Take time to really listen to your spouse.
22. Don't try to fix every problem for someone else.
23. Sit down and have supper together. Even grilled cheese and soup tastes better when you smile across the table!
24. Your spouse cannot fill every hole in your life (and you can't fill all of their holes, either)! Make friends, be a friend, and allow your spouse to have friends.
25. Find an older couple to help pattern your marriage after. Let them teach you the art of staying married and in love.
If you have found any tidbits of advice you want to add, feel free to comment.
4 comments:
How about "Do little things that your spouse doesn't expect, just because".
I like #4 - it makes me think of people who stay together "for the kids," when if they would have worked harder at their marriage instead of putting their children first (hello, spiritual authority!) they wouldn't have that problem.
I'm so glad you married our Daddy Woss :) Happy silver anniversary month!
You are a wise woman! Thank you for sharing this!
Mrs. NB
Good advice!
From one Nana to another - your grandbabies are precious! Of course, you knew that!
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