I have two daughters.
I, also, have two "sons".
I gave birth to the girls. My husband and I "adopted" the boys. The quotation marks are because these are not legal adoptions. They do not have our last name. They do have parents that love them and are part of their lives.
John is the only one who actually lived with us. John is actually a distant cousin on my mother's side. Daniel has parents that live several hours away, and he just needed a local mom and dad while he was getting settled in our town and church, and getting married. John needed a safe house to live in when he came home from the Navy and he wanted to know what a "normal" family felt like while he was trying to get his civilian bearings.
All four of our children are married. To wonderful people! Young men and young women that I am proud to call my other children. (Although I do introduce them as in-laws, I truly feel that they are our children!)
Out of these four children of ours we have been blessed with seven (yes, SEVEN!) grandchildren, so far:
Mr. & Mrs. Lemon have Splenda (11) and Zesty (10 mos.). (Real names withheld for privacy reasons.)
Jessica and Robbie have David Riley (7 1/2) and Eva (1 week).
Daniel and Carolyn have Abby (7 1/2), Jonathan (5), and Hunter (4).
John and Mistie have no actual children yet, but we currently have two granddogs--Buster and Zoe.
When I try to explain to co-workers who have known me for a LONG time that I have two sons that they never knew about, I get the oddest looks. AND when I tell them that I have seven grandchildren, they will make remarks about how busy the girls have been. Then the explanations begin again. I try really hard not to get defensive, but it really is annoying to have them say "Well, they really aren't your children." OR "So you really don't have that many grandchildren, you just say you do."
Why is it so hard for other people to understand that you don't have to give birth to someone to hold them as a child in your heart?? AND even if you didn't meet them until they were adults, that they can be just as much a part of you as the children you gave birth to?? My daughters don't feel in any way slighted by the fact that they now have two brothers that they didn't grow up with. AND they don't feel that their children get any less attention because we choose to share our love with the other grandchildren.
Maybe some things truly do defy explanation!
4 comments:
Aaaaawwwww thanks. Any doubters can be sent to me for explanation. I was like a stray dog... "adopted" by "Church Parents".
Your two "adopted" sons are very fortunate.
I once knew a woman who had 3 kids. One of them was adopted. When people asked her which one was adopted, she said "I don't know...I just treat them all like they are mine!"
I completely get the idea of people not getting the extended family. Mistie is my fifth cousin about forty times removed, I don't think I've met any of her siblings except for at her and John's wedding, yet I call her my cousin. And then, Sis.Jewel is my adopted grandma. People just don't get it. Oh well. Their loss.
We understand here in our home! Three daughters and one son! The girls never really lived with us, they were the children of a friend who died and we just got closer and closer. One boy who did stay with us 2 nites every week and came home after school every day. Two biological sons and two step sons. I consider them all mine!
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