Wife, mom, and grandmother,with a little dash of caregiver thrown in for good measure.
Monday, October 8, 2007
I'll Be Okay, Really I Will!!!
I have decided that losing my dad was not nearly as emotional as the family fall-out has been!!!
I'm tired of crying!
I'm tired of being angry!
I'm tired of constantly being the only one doing the "right thing"!
I'm tired of hearing myself sigh.
5 comments:
the lizness
said...
I think one of the hardest parts about grieving is understanding that everyone grieves differently. That's the beauty of family dynamics, too. Everyone loves differently. It doesn't mean someone else loved the dead (or the gone) less just because they are not doing what another person is doing or feeling. I had a hard time at first understanding the depth of some people's anger towards Dustin when I was way past that part, but it was just the difference in relationship.
Liz has a lot of wisdom here. I'm sorry about all of this. Sometimes people, when dealing with grief, mistake that grief for other emotions like anger and bitterness. They look back over their shoulders and see their own mistakes but instead of learning from their own mistakes, they lash out because lashing out feels better than feeling guilty. Being able to take about it in a safe environment (where nobody will lash out on you). Keep doing the right thing even if it's tiring. It is what pleasing Him. And He is taking care of you. :)
We have experienced this in our own family before. My advice is to TRY to stay kind and keep TRYING to do what's right. Easy? No. But, in the long run, you will be thankful. My family can still remember hurtful things that were said and done after the death of loved ones. It's sad. Be kind to yourself, Theresa, and know that the Lord sees right where you are. Praying for you sis! ((BIG HUG))
Everyone else has said all of the things that I would say to you, too, Theresa, so just know that I am praying for you. And sighing is good. I am a sigher, too. *little grin* It helps to relieve all of that pent-up pressure inside. Or so I've been told. *grin* When my dad and then my mom passed away, each of us five kids dealt with our grief in such different ways. My grief for daddy was soooo emotional for me. His death was very sudden and unexpected, I was single AND "daddy's girl". When mom passed away, it wasn't a shock. Her health had been bad for so long and death came slowly to her, so we were able to spend some wonderful time together during the months prior to her death and especially the last week. In closing, take time for YOU and be kind to yourself, as Tracy put so well. (((HUGS)))
5 comments:
I think one of the hardest parts about grieving is understanding that everyone grieves differently. That's the beauty of family dynamics, too. Everyone loves differently. It doesn't mean someone else loved the dead (or the gone) less just because they are not doing what another person is doing or feeling. I had a hard time at first understanding the depth of some people's anger towards Dustin when I was way past that part, but it was just the difference in relationship.
You'll make it. Get some rest Mom.
Liz has a lot of wisdom here. I'm sorry about all of this. Sometimes people, when dealing with grief, mistake that grief for other emotions like anger and bitterness. They look back over their shoulders and see their own mistakes but instead of learning from their own mistakes, they lash out because lashing out feels better than feeling guilty. Being able to take about it in a safe environment (where nobody will lash out on you). Keep doing the right thing even if it's tiring. It is what pleasing Him. And He is taking care of you. :)
LOL... please excuse my grammar errors!! Eh hem... "Being able to talk about it in a safe environment is healthy."
I won't correct the others because you can fill in the blanks... but this one, well.. uh... sometimes I wonder how I make it in college! LOL!!
We have experienced this in our own family before. My advice is to TRY to stay kind and keep TRYING to do what's right. Easy? No. But, in the long run, you will be thankful. My family can still remember hurtful things that were said and done after the death of loved ones. It's sad. Be kind to yourself, Theresa, and know that the Lord sees right where you are. Praying for you sis! ((BIG HUG))
Everyone else has said all of the things that I would say to you, too, Theresa, so just know that I am praying for you. And sighing is good. I am a sigher, too. *little grin* It helps to relieve all of that pent-up pressure inside. Or so I've been told. *grin* When my dad and then my mom passed away, each of us five kids dealt with our grief in such different ways. My grief for daddy was soooo emotional for me. His death was very sudden and unexpected, I was single AND "daddy's girl". When mom passed away, it wasn't a shock. Her health had been bad for so long and death came slowly to her, so we were able to spend some wonderful time together during the months prior to her death and especially the last week. In closing, take time for YOU and be kind to yourself, as Tracy put so well. (((HUGS)))
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