What To Do Now????

This has really been one of the most emotional weeks I have had for a very long time. My friend, Don did a beautifully written post about the Body of Christ bearing one another up through times of grief.

You can read about Tiffany here and here. Today was her funeral. It was a lovely celebration of a lovely, but brief life. Tiffany truly had a faith that surpassed her years and experience. She felt that if God's Word said it, there was no room for discussion, only faith. I just keep hearing the song "Dancing With The Angels" playing through my head, and I KNOW that that is exactly what she's doing.

Also, on Monday, I received a phone call from my step-mom that Dad had fallen several times through the night and she had had him taken to the hospital. He had 3 broken ribs and his sugar kept bottoming out at 40. After some testing the doctor determined that his kidneys are not functioning at all and that his body system is slowly shutting down. Dad refused to allow them to start dialysis.

By Thursday, Dad's dementia was getting so bad and his chemical levels were so high that his doctor called me and asked for a face-to-face meeting. As it turns out, he wanted me there because he did not feel that my step-mom was fully understanding the severity of Dad's health. We discussed and signed a DNR statement, authorized the use of morphine to keep him as comfortable as possible, and requested that he be moved to a VA long-term care facility. That was yesterday.

Today (10 minutes before Tiffany's funeral was to start) I got a frantic call from the doctor that my step-mom had decided that Dad was better, so she was going to take him home.

Now if you were here in my dining room with me right now, you would probably be seeing smoke blowing out of my ears, hear thunder, and see lightening! I AM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS!!! The doctor said he was against her signing him out, but his hands were legally tied. The social services director called, and was upset, but his hands were legally tied. So far, 2 nurses have called, one of them in tears, just to let me know that they tried to talk her in to leaving him, but were unsuccessful.

I am at an utter loss for what to do. I mean, I know I could go to court and be appointed Dad's guardian. BUT do I really want to alienate my step-mom that way??? I have tried talking to her, but she is so determined that her way is the easiest and best that I might as well talk to a tree. (Actually, the tree would at least respond with some growth!) I've even pulled out the stops by calling my Dad's brothers and sisters to see if they would put some family pressure on my step-mom. The woman is just not listening to anyone.

Just so you will all understand, I'm not opposed to home health care. However, their house is in such bad repair, that if anyone even tried to hook-up any electrical medical equipment, it would probably start a fire. They do not have a working septic system. AND their home is filled with mold. (Because of my asthma, I cannot be in their home for more than a couple of hours at a time.) It is a healthcare nightmare! I tried to explain this to the social services director, and he said all that he could do was request a health department inspection.

So, on top of the sadness because of Tiffany, and knowing that (according to the doctor) my Dad has only a few weeks left to live, now I'm dealing with a whole boat-load of anger at my step-mom. I'm so tired of the soap opera drama that my life has become!! I just want to run away and find a place to hide until everything is over!